I'm Lonely Here, Tonight
by MeridaFaeScott
Summary: "What do you want?" she snapped. There was a long pause. "…I know you need someone tonight." His soft words brought fresh tears and Caitlyn gripped the railing tightly.


**Soo…This is all I got myself to write today, but I hope everyone likes it well enough. :) **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

The rain pounded on the cabin as Caitlyn stared out at it. She didn't even want to think. Her head was already threatening to explode and anymore of these dismal thoughts might kill her. She refused to cry. Caitlyn Gellar doesn't cry.

It was impossible to tune out Dana's voice droning on and on to the willing Mitchie. Nate this, Nate that-it was almost too much to take. With a final sigh, Caitlyn stood abruptly and felt the cabin. Freezing in the rain was a much better choice then the torture.

Wasn't it she that had always been there for Nate? Through every year at the camp, she'd been the one to cheer him up after broken relationships. She was the one who attended as many concerts as she could. Sometimes she liked to pretend it was her alone that understood him.

"You okay, Cait?" it was Jason that noticed her uncharacteristic silence first, and she forced a smile.

"Fine," she lied.

"All this talk must bore you," he smiled in amusement, "Sometimes it seems like Dana is all Nate will talk about anymore."

"Yeah," Caitlyn's smile wavered as she sighed, "Yeah, it does…" For a moment, she was sure Jason guessed what she was thinking and feeling, but she looked back down at the book she had been pretending to read.

In normal cases, the occasion would have caused Caitlyn to be very excited. All she could feel was annoyance and irritated with the squeals and giggling at the party, thought. If Dana was telling the truth-and of course _perfect _Dana wouldn't lie- things had gone much faster than Caitlyn had anticipated.

They were engaged.

The fact stabbed her like a knife. Why hadn't Nate had the decency to tell her first? He should have at least made sure that she wouldn't find it out by the general announcement. They were supposed to be best friends. Yet she felt shunned ever since Dana came into the picture.

She must have imagined the feelings before Dana came along. Nate didn't need her.

Even Shane noticed something was wrong, "You don't seem very excited for Nate and Dana." He observed, watching the girls in amusement and Caitlyn gripped her champagne glass tighter.

"It's hard to be excited for someone when they don't treat you like a friend anymore." Caitlyn spoke simply, not caring at this point what he would make of her tone and words.

She felt his eyes boring into her before he spoke, "Now that you mention it," he mused, "I'm sorry, Cait…He really hasn't made anytime for you in…"

"In a long time," she finished for him, knowing it was the truth, "I'm glad he's happy." Caitlyn managed to say before turning and trying to walk quickly to the bathroom, eyes stinging.

Caitlyn stood in shock at seeing Nate on her doorstep when she answered the door, "…Nate?"

"Don't sound so surprised," he laughed, stepping inside in a familiar way, "Mom wanted me to drop off your recipe book." Caitlyn had no choice but to let him in, trying to push down feelings of resentment and anger. He had hurt her. The moment Dana came into the picture, she suddenly didn't matter anymore.

"What do you want, Nate?" she hadn't meant for it to sound so bitter and avoided his gaze when he looked at her questioningly.

"…Did I do something wrong, Cait?" the words hurt more than she had expected.

"Of course not, Nate." Caitlyn muttered, turning away from him so he wouldn't see the tears threatening to fall after she spoke the biggest lie of her life.

The hotel ceiling wasn't interesting but Caitlyn couldn't seem to tear her eyes away. It was the night before and she was falling apart inside. She wasn't even sure now that she could attend the wedding. It was a good thing she'd managed to worm her way out of Dana's offer to be in the wedding.

The sounds of the city met her ears. She had left the balcony doors open to let in the cool breeze, it soothed her. Her wet cheeks felt cool as she sat up and a particularly strong breeze blew in, making the curtains sway peacefully.  
Did he forget that she was even alive? Everything they had before? He'd forgotten about her. The only reason she was invited to the wedding was because of Jason bringing it up in conversation, causing Dana to exuberantly assure Caitlyn she was always welcome.

It was past midnight and Caitlyn still stood on her balcony, trying to make her mind freeze. She wanted time to stop-before the wedding. Was there anything she could have don't differently to make Nate see the obvious? Would it have even been any use?

She didn't compare to Dana. She was just Caitlyn. The best friend that was easily forgotten.

There was a knock on the door, but she just ignored it, "Caitlyn, I know you're still awake." How did he know? How? Stupid Shane and his stupid "just knowing" things.

"What do you want?" she snapped. There was a long pause.

"…I know you need someone tonight." His soft words brought fresh tears and Caitlyn gripped the railing tightly. The sound of the door opening and closing met her ears and his arms wrapped around her tightly.

"You love him, don't you?" Shane's words were barely audible and Caitlyn nodded with a sob.

Shane had fallen asleep awhile ago, spread out on her bed. No words had been spoken, but Caitlyn knew he would refuse to leave. Caitlyn was hugging her knees where she sat on the edge of the bed, her hair free of its earlier ponytail.

A soft knock on the door broke her from her half hearted thoughts, "Cait? Are you awake?" she considered staying quiet, but knew this would be her last chance to talk to and see Nate before he was married.

She opened the door slowly, chewing on her lip in uncertainty at his unreadable expression, "It's late." Was her simple greeting.

"I know, but Jason says Shane's been missing for awhile and we don't know where he is-have you seen him?" Nate asked, not looking as worried as she would have expected.

"He's here."

"…Why is he here?" Nate's eyes flashed in momentary irritation.

"Because I couldn't sleep and needed company-not that it's any of your business." Caitlyn snapped, rolling her eyes. For a moment they both only stood watching each other.

"I can't sleep, either." Nate sighed.

"Too excited?" she hoped the bitterness wasn't distinguishable in her tone, "Or having second thoughts?" Caitlyn held her breath; almost certain she'd seen some strange flicker of emotions at her second question.

Nate reached for her, arms open in silently asking for a hug. Caitlyn hesitated. He was making this much harder than it needed to be. There was a moment of silence before she sighed and stepped into his embrace.

Caitlyn couldn't help a few tears running down her cheeks, but she tried to inconspicuously wipe them away before he could see or they would land on his t-shirt. She tried to memorize the feeling of his strong arms around her, the feel of security.

"I'm so nervous," Nate paused before speaking the worst words possible at the moment, "but I love Dana."

_What about me?_

Caitlyn dressed. She didn't need to wake, she never had slept. Shane had woken later than planned, dashing from her room in slight panic of not having enough time to dress.

Caitlyn put on makeup. She brushed her hair, not bothering to do anything special with it, just let it lay on her shoulders in natural curls. The sun was shining brightly, it was cool outside-perfect weather for the outside wedding in just an hour.

Caitlyn watched Nate in front of the crowd with everyone else, ignoring Shane's sympathetic eyes watching her, watching him. Jason was oblivious. Nate was ignorant. Dana was beautiful. Caitlyn felt plain.

The sun shined on Nate's curls just right, making them look lighter brown than usual, his whole face seemed alight with joy. She captured this image to her memory and kept her shoulders back and her chin up.

Caitlyn watched her world fall apart. Each solemn word from the bride and groom seemed to slam against her rib cage, causing hot, excruciating pain.

Caitlyn slipped away before the bride and groom kissed.

**Reviews, pleeease? :O**


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